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Naughty Quotes By Great People

09.08.09 (2:55 pm) [edit]

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. David Bissonette
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. Sacha Guitry, French Film Actor
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates, Greek Philosopher (if you never heard of him ;)
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want? Alexandre Dumas, French Novelist
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. Sigismund Schlomo Freud, Austrian Neurologist
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. Samuel (Sam) Burl Kinison, American Comedian
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't. James Holt McGavran
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. Patrick Murray, English Actor
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Henry (Henny) Youngman, British Comedian
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. Rodney Dangerfield (Jacob Cohen), American Comedian
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' Anonymous

posted by: barnabus1 (reply)
post date: 09.08.09 (7:36 pm)

Reminds me of the story about a minister walking through a cemetary, he came across a man with his arm around a tombstone, crying, "Why did you have to die, My life was so perfect, I was so happy, life was so wonderful!!", he put his arm around the man and asked, "No" the man replied..."her first husband, why did he have to die? my life was so perfect!"

posted by: plainolebob (reply)
post date: 09.08.09 (7:59 pm)

funny stuff here

posted by: taralynn (reply)
post date: 09.08.09 (8:26 pm)

love it, need a good laugh!

posted by: 0hdgk7 (reply)
post date: 09.15.09 (9:17 pm)

haahahaha!! I freaking laughed out loud when I finished the last one LOL my collegues staring at me hahahaha!!

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