1)
Jessi and His Firiend were always boasting of their parent's achievements
to each other.
Friend: Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Jessi: Yes, I have.
Friend: Well, my father dug it.
Jessi: Thats nothing have you ever heard of Dead sea?
Friend: Yes, I have.
Jessi: Well, my father killed it.

2)
Jessi got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth
certificate,
Mother: American.
Father: American.
Kid: Chinese."
Clerck Asks :"How come you write "Chinese when both parents are American?"
"Aah, Jessi says, i read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person
born on the Earth now is a Chinese." 
 
3)
Jessi is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

4)
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce and asked,
What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the
property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean, what is the foundation of this case?"
"Oh, it's made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's
parents."
He asked, "Well, do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "we have a two-car carport and have never really needed
one."
Exasperated, he tried again, "Please, is there any infidelity in your
marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like
the music, but the answer to your question is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, no, I don't want a divorce." she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce.
My husband does. He says he can't communicate with me."