1)
ARAB : Whatever u want i give but u marry me!
Girl : u give me house?
ARAB : ok!
GIRL : BMW?
ARAB : i give!
GIRL : Do u have a 12 inch ?
ARAB : (thinking) ok! 4 u i cut it

2)
HUSBAND :
U never tell me how much u enjoy sex...?
WIFE  :
well u r never at home at that time!

3)
Whats the similarity b/w American Flag and First Lady's skirt?
both go down by the order of The President.

4)
A young Girl Goes to Her Teacher with her bf and ask: Can i be a mother teacher?
Teaher Says: you are too young to be a mother.
Girl turns around to bf and says: See, i told you nothings gonna happen.

5)Tutor asked : which part of the body goes to heaven first ?
a kid replys : feet coz every night i see mom her feet up high & screaming oh god i m coming.

6)
What women think of sex:
at age 8-ignore it
at age 18-experience it
at age 28-love it
at age 38-ask for it
at age 48-beg for it
at age 58-pay for it
at age 68-pray for it
at age 78-forget it!

7)
Why do women put red lipstick on their lips?
b'cos its a warning signal that its the wrong hole.

8)
over phone
Boy : I am going to come over to your house right now.
girl:  oh no you're not.
boy :  and I am going to break down your door,
girl:  oh no you're not.
boy :  then I am going to take you in to the bed room,
girl:  oh no you're not.
boy :  I am then going to throw you on to the bed and rip off all your cloths,
girl:  oh no you're not.
Boy : then I am going to take off all my cloths,
girl:  oh no you're not.
boy :  then I am going to jump on you and make hot passionate love to you,
girl:  oh no you're not.
boy :  and I am not even going to wear a condom!
girl:  oh yes you are.

9)
Wife : cat drank the milk while i was asleep.
husband : i have told you many times to wear a shirt while you sleep
 
10)
A NuN goes for a urine test & by mistake the sample got mixed up.
The doctor told the Nun she was pregnant.
She cried out: " we can`t even trust CANDLES now!!!"

11)
Love is a gamble sex is a game,
boys do action, girls Get the pain,
blame one night of pleasure nine months of pain,
one day in hospital ,and junior needs a name!

12)
Ouch! It's too tight.
Don't worry, sweetheart ! we'll try to do it slowly.Push it in.
Aah! I can't. It's painful.
Ok, sweetheart, Let's get another
WEDDING RING !