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| How to Steal ? |
| 06.29.09 (9:05 pm) [edit] |
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A Master Thief in London was giving a Coaching Class on Stealing and had students from all over the world. The Indian happened to be a Sardar. After several grueling classes on theory came the final and decisive class of all, a practical lab.
The master took all his pupils to a house nearby in the darkness of night and entered that. However, by mistake he overturned a vase.
Owner : Who's that?
Master: Miaooow...
The owner is satisfied and goes back to sleep. Mission accomplished.
The sardar is very impressed. Returning to Punjab, he decides to open a similar class for his fellow sardars. He does so and follows the same
schedule of theory classes.
Then he goes for the lab with his pupils. He enters the house of a rich sardar in darkness, and tells the other sardars,
"These are the various steps for stealing. You just observe." He then goes and overturns a vase.
Owner : Koun Hai ? ( Who's that ? )
Sardar : Mai Billi . ( I am a cat)
Owner : Oh, Billi ( Oh. A cat.)
...and goes back to sleep.
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1 Comments
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| Kotes ;) |
| 06.28.09 (11:24 pm) [edit] |
- Love, for too many men in our time, consists of sleeping with a seductive woman, one who is properly endowed with the right distribution of curves and conveniences and one upon whom a permanent lien has been acquired through the institution of marriage. Montague Francis Ashley Montagu, British Writer
- Falling out of love is very enlightening, for a short while you see the world with new eyes. Dame Jean Iris Murdoch, British Writer
- The only abnormality is the incapacity to love. Angela Anaïs Juana Antolina Rosa Edelmira Nin y Culmell, French Novelist
- To an ordinary human being love means nothing if it does not mean loving some people more than others. Eric Arthur Blair (George Orwell), British Essay Writer/Novelist
- Love is universal, and love is easy to merchandise. Warner Pagliara, American Business Executive
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2 Comments
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| How to buy a Clock ? |
| 06.28.09 (3:00 am) [edit] |
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A Sardar once visits Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. The Sardar replies "Yes". "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardar figured he was taken.
The next day the Sardar is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. "Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
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1 Comments
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| Obituary - Michael Jackson (1958 - 2009) |
| 06.25.09 (9:18 pm) [edit] |
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Michael Joseph Jackson 1958 - 2009 R.I.P.
Remember Michael 'YOU ARE NOT ALONE' (Video Courtesy YouTube) Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone
'Lone, 'lone, Why, 'lone
Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin
Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there
You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone
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9 Comments
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| Use of Cocoa |
| 06.25.09 (11:36 am) [edit] |
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According to recent estimates, nearly 1-in-3 American adults has high blood pressure. But for the Kuna Indians living on a group of islands off the Caribbean coast of Panama , hypertension doesn't even exist. In fact, after age 60, the average blood pressure for Kuna Indian islanders is a perfect 110/70.
Is it because they eat less salt? No. Kuna Indians eat as much, if not more salt, than people in the U.S.
Is it due to their genes? No. Kuna Indians who move away from the islands are just as likely to suffer from high blood pressure as anyone else!
So what makes these folks practically "immune" to hypertension -- and lets them enjoy much lower death rates from heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, and cancer?
Harvard researchers were stunned to discover it's because they drink about 5 cups of cocoa each day. That's right, cocoa!
Studies show the flavonols in cocoa stimulate your body's production of nitric oxide -- boosting blood flow to your heart, brain, and other organs. In fact, one study found cocoa thins your blood just as well as low-dose aspirin!
But that's not all. A Harvard Medical School professor claims cocoa can also treat blocked arteries, congestive heart failure, stroke, dementia, even impotence!
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2 Comments
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| Applying For US Visa |
| 06.24.09 (11:14 pm) [edit] |
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Banta Singh and Santa Singh, the two famous friends not noted for their depth of intellectual aptitude, were applying for a visa to visit their relatives in the town of New York, United States of America. Banta was first interviewed by the officer in charge.
"Well, Mr. Singh, all we need to know is whether you have the mental resources to survive your trip to New York", he said, demonstrating his cultural understanding of the applicant.
"Let's see, now - if I poke you with this pencil in your left eye, what will happen?
"I'll be blinded in my left, eye, sir".
"Very good, Mr. Singh. Now, if I poke you with the pencil in your right eye, what will happen?"
"I'll be blinded in my right eye, sir, and I won't be able to see anything at all."
"Well, Mr. Singh, you've passed with flying colours. Enjoy your trip."
Banta then rejoined Santa in the waiting room, and described his experience.
"It was very easy. That very nice officer sahib asks you two questions, and the answers are "I'll be blinded in my left, eye, sir", and then "I'll be blinded in my right eye, sir, and I won't be able to see anything at all", and then you will get the visa straight away."
So the second, and slightly more comprehension-impaired Santa Singh, went into the interview room. The officer took the same approach:
"What would happen if I took these scissors and cut off your left ear?"
"I'll be blinded in my left, eye, sir".
"Hmmm. What would happen if I cut off your your right ear?"
"I'll be blinded in my right eye, sir, and I won't be able to see anything at all."
The officer was a little perplexed by these answers. "Now Mr. Singh, I find your answers very difficult to understand. How could it be that
cutting off your ears would have anything to do with your eyesight?"
"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear - I should be explaining myself. If you cut off my left ear, my turban will fall down on the left side and cover my
left eye and I'll be blinded in one eye. And then if you cut off my right ear, my turban will also be falling down on the right side and I'll be blinded in my right eye and I won't be able to be seeing anything at all!"
Santa got his visa.
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4 Comments
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| Two Choices - (Copy Pasting A Mail from A Friend) |
| 06.23.09 (10:18 pm) [edit] |
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What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:
'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.
Where is the natural order of things in my son?'
The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued.. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'
Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the
plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!
Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.
The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'
So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.
You now have two choices:
1. Delete
2. Forward
May your day, be a Shay Day.
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2 Comments
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| More Quotes |
| 06.22.09 (9:42 am) [edit] |
- Women are the only exploited group in history who have been idealized into powerlessness. Time 1978
- Human rights apply equally to Soviet dissidents, Chilean peasants and American women. Barbara Jordan, American politician
- It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.
- Men are brought up to command, women to seduce. To admit the necessity of seductions is to admit that one has not the strength to command.
- Woman are the true maintenance class. Society is built upon their acquiescence and upon their small and necessary labours.
- The fact is that one cannot talk in feminist terms without revealing feelings which have been traditionally regarded as neurotic.
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3 Comments
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| Those Crazy Maruti People! |
| 06.21.09 (10:44 pm) [edit] |
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Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother and told her to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on
the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him "Arre Puttar, ki hoya?" (What Happened, My Son?)
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)
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2 Comments
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| Another Inside View - Dubai Mosque |
| 06.21.09 (2:28 am) [edit] |
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6 Comments
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| Quotes - Attention Men & Women |
| 06.20.09 (1:44 pm) [edit] |
- Rape is……nothing more or less than a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear. Susan Brownmiller, American Feminist
- There are two kinds of woman - those who pay too much attention to themselves and those who don’t pay enough. The Country Girl, Paramount Pictures
- If you really worship women they’ll forgive you everything, even if your balls are dropping off. Lawrence George Durrell, British Writer
- It’s an honorable thing to change your name - women do it when they’re married. Bob Dylan, American Singer
- All women are Lesbians, except those who don’t know it yet. Jill Johnston, American Feminist
- It’s a sad woman that buys her own perfume. Lena May Jeger (Baroness Jeger), British Politician
- The women whose behavior indicates that she will make a scene if she is told the truth, asks to be deceived. Margaret Heald Elizabeth Jenkins, British Biographer
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0 Comments
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| Expensive Chandelier Inside the Mosque |
| 06.19.09 (11:42 pm) [edit] |
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9 Comments
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| More Amazing Facts |
| 06.18.09 (10:10 pm) [edit] |
- Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
- A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it go mad instantly and sting itself to death
- By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand
- Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries
- The Polar Bear can reach 25 miles / hr of speed
- Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time
- Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system. A few ounces will kill a small sized dog
- Most lipsticks contain fish scales
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4 Comments
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| Pakistan Wins Semi Finals of T20 |
| 06.18.09 (12:49 pm) [edit] |
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Pakistan has won Semi Final of T20 World Cup Cricket 2009 against South Africa. Brilliant batting/bowling by Shahid Afridi and some great bowling by Umer Gul brought safe victory by 7 runs. Best wishes for Pakistan Team and all Pakistanis for the finals.
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2 Comments
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| FOR LUNCH AGAIN ??? |
| 06.18.09 (7:02 am) [edit] |
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Three Construction workers are working on the 20th floor of a tall building in Bombay. One is a Mallu, the second is a Bengali and the third is a Sardarji. Every day all the three meet in the lunch hall and have their lunch together.
One fine day, the Mallu opened his lunch box and finds idlis in the box. He says "I am fed up of eating these idlis daily. If I find idlis in the box tomorrow, i will jump from the 20th floor and die".
Next the Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and says "If I find fish in my lunch box tomorrow, I am going to jump from the 20th floor of this building and die".
Next the Sardarji opens his lunch box and finds Parathas in it and says "If I find parathas in my box tomorrow I am also going to jump and die".
The next day the three friends meet for lunch. Mallu opens his lunch box and finds Idlis and promptly jumps from the 20th floor and dies. The Bengali opens his lunch box and finds fish in it and jumps from the 20th floor and dies. Sardarji opens his box and finds parathas and he also jumps from the 20th floor and dies
In the combined funeral held for all the three friends by their colleagues, the Mallu's widow says "I did not know he hated idlis so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch".
The Bengali's widow says "I did not know he hated fish so much. If not I would have packed something else for his lunch".
The Sardarji's widow says "I do not understand what went wrong. My husband always prepared his own lunch!”
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2 Comments
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| Interesting Facts |
| 06.17.09 (11:23 pm) [edit] |
- It is illegal to own a red car in shanghai china
- True to spin an egg, It’s strange that a hard-boiled egg will spin but an uncooked or soft-boiled egg will not
- Astronauts cannot burp in space
- People with blue eyes see better in dark
- The snowiest city in the USA is Blue Canyon, California.
- Lake Nicaragua in Nicaragua is the only fresh water lake in the world that has sharks
- Kite flying is a professional sport in Thailand
- The gasoline can not freeze no matter how cold the temperature falls
- Human stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself
- Every person has a unique tongue print
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0 Comments
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| Quotes from Millinoaire Mindset |
| 06.17.09 (7:15 am) [edit] |
- If you don’t have a dream, if I don’t have a dream, how are we going to make a dream come true? (Mary Martin)
- If you want to turn your dreams into reality, you can’t just sit around. (Larry Walters)
- There is no compromise in a dream. Compromise is an excuse for falling short while you lay on your couch in front of your TV with your remote control and your glass of beer, watching someone else run with your dream. (The Closer, Movie)
- Other people don’t stop you from dreaming. You stop yourself. You get in your own way because you are afraid of what you might become, even if that something is a wonderful thing. (The Closer, Movie)
- Any idea you choose to keep in your mind will begin at once to form through the most convenient physical form. (Dale Carnegie)
- The Law of Attraction attracts to you everything you need, according to the nature of your thought of life. Your environment and financial condition are the perfect reflection of your habitual thinking. (Joseph Edward)
- Humankind’s economic output over less than one hundred years has already exceeded the economic output of the previous one hundred centuries. (Paul Zane Pilzer)
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0 Comments
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| Amazing Facts |
| 06.16.09 (8:55 pm) [edit] |
- Tuesday is considered as the most productive day of the week
- In human body the right lung takes in more air than the left one
- The sun is 330330 times larger than the earth
- Bill Gates house was designed using Macintosh computer which is a brand of the Microsoft’s rival company
- Almost all varieties of breakfast cereals are made from grass
- In the 1930's America track star Jesse Owens used to race against horses and dogs to earn a living
- There is a great mushroom in Oregon that is 2,400 years old. It Covers 3.4 square miles of land and is still growing
- Jimmy Carter is the first USA president to have born in hospital
- Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump
- Cleopatra married two of her brothers
- Human birth control pill works on gorillas
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2 Comments
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| Famous People Painting - Discussing the Divine Comedy with Dante |
| 06.16.09 (6:52 am) [edit] |
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3 Comments
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| Etiquettes for Visiting a Blog |
| 06.11.09 (10:53 pm) [edit] |
Here are few Etiquettes for visiting a blog:
1) Stay on the blog more than 30 seconds atleast.
2) Click one or two inbound links in the blog to view some other posts.
3) It is appreciated if you also insert a valuable comment regarding/relating to the post.
4) If you are using blog catalog, most bloggers (using blog catalog) will know that you visited, through widgets, chat boxes etc. Even then its better to let them know you visited, on their blog catalog page.
5) Click the addy$ that interest you only.
6) Never over click ads on a blog, your over clicking may harm someone.
7) If you click something and go to another page, try to stay there and click some links there too.
8) Blog Catalog users may Rate/Review the blog on blog catalog. (Under rating will never help you in anyway)
9) Add to favourites if you like the blog
10) You can also bookmark a blog
11) Vi$iting once a week is suggested
12) Don't use offensive language in comments, it will only harm you.
13) Appreciate bloggers' original content
Please insert any other things related to the topic. Thank You
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12 Comments
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| Steemed Chicken |
| 06.11.09 (9:40 pm) [edit] |
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A Sardar once lived in England and was very popular with the people in his neighborhood. He was a regular at the local pub, and met with the locals there and they all had a great time together. But his English friends were a bit disappointed that the Sardar didn’t make any effort to learn English and communicated in sign language or broken English with them.
One day the Sardar announced to them that he was going on vacation to India and would be back in three months. His drinking buddies decided to offer him an English speaking parrot to take to India with him. They figured that by speaking English with the parrot their friend would end up speaking English.
When the Sardar came back from vacation and joined his buddies in the bar, they asked him whether the parrot had helped him learn English.
The Sardar mustered up all the English at his command and said
"Velly good! Taste like steemed chicken!"
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0 Comments
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| Parrots |
| 06.10.09 (9:18 pm) [edit] |
A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.
The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage.
He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?
The owner said it was Rs. 2500.
"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?
"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.
"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."
The man then asked what the second parrot cost.
The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,
but is an expert computer programmer.
Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.
The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."
Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.
The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.
But the other two call him "BOSS"!!
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5 Comments
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| OH GOD !!!!!!!!!!! |
| 06.10.09 (12:37 am) [edit] |
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends,
'My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father' '.
The second Catholic man chirps,
'My son is a bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace''.
The third Catholic gent says,
'My son is a cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence' '.
The fourth Catholic man chirps,
'My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness''.
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, 'Well...?'
She replies, 'I have a daughter. She is slim, tall and 36-24-36.
When she walks into a room, people say................................"OH GOD !!!"
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7 Comments
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| SARDAR KIDNAPS |
| 06.09.09 (9:53 am) [edit] |
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There once was a Sardarji who was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him,"I've kidnapped you."
The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north side of the city playground". Signed, "A Sardarji".
The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note saying, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji?!
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2 Comments
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| Rivers Of Babylon - Boney M (Lyrics) |
| 06.08.09 (10:14 pm) [edit] |
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By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down
ye eh we wept, when we remembered Zion
By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down
ye eh we wept, when we remembered Zion
When the wicked
Carried us away in captivity
Required from us a song
Now how shall we sing the lord's song in a strange land
When the wicked
Carried us away in captivity
Requiring of us a song
Now how shall we sing the lord's song in a strange land
Let the words of our mouth and the meditations of our heart
be acceptable in thy sight here tonight
Let the words of our mouth and the meditation of our hearts
be acceptable in thy sight here tonight
By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down
ye eh we wept, when we remembered Zion
By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down
ye eh we wept, when we remembered Zion
By the rivers of Babylon, "dark tears of Babylon"
there we sat down "You got to sing a song"
ye-eah we wept, "Sing a song of love"
when we remember Zion "Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah"
By the rivers of Babylon "Rough bits of Babylon"
there we sat down "You hear the people cry"
ye-eah we wept, "They need that "
when we remember Zion "Ooh, have the power" Boney M
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| How to Play Board Game With a Donkey |
| 06.08.09 (10:03 am) [edit] |
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1 Comments
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| Women - Quotes |
| 06.07.09 (9:35 pm) [edit] |
- A woman can look both moral and exciting, if she also looks as if it were quite a struggle. Edna Ferber, American Writer
- When modern women discovered the orgasm, it was combined with modern birth control, perhaps the biggest single nail in the coffin of male dominance. Eva Figes, British Writer
- All men are rapists and that’s all they are. They use with their eyes, their laws and their codes. Marilyn French, American Novelist
- The more underdeveloped the country, the more overdeveloped the women. John Kenneth Galbraith, American Economist
- The decisive economic contribution of women in the developed industrial society is rather simple. It is, overwhelmingly, to make possible a continuing and more or less unlimited increase in the sale and use of consumer goods. Annals of an Abiding Liberal, 1980
- Most women still need a room of their own and the only way to find it may be outside their own homes. Germaine Greer, Australian Feminist
- We’ve been castrated. It’s all very well to let a bullock out into the field when you’ve already cut off his balls because you know he’s not going to do anything. That’s exactly what’s happened to women. Playboy, 1972
- There is no sincerity like a women telling a lie. ‘Indiscreet’. Warner Bros 1958 screenplay by Norman Krasna
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| SPEED LIMIT |
| 06.07.09 (9:12 am) [edit] |
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five Sardars - two in the front seat and three in the back - eyes wide and white as ghosts. The driver Santa Singh, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"
"Sir," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly... Twenty-Two miles an hour!" Santa says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, Santa grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out his error.
"But before I let you go, Sir, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car ok? these people seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." the officer asks.
"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119." Said Santa.
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6 Comments
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| HEIGHT OR LENGTH? |
| 06.06.09 (8:25 am) [edit] |
Santa Singh and Banta Singh get a contract to paint a flagpole. While trying to compute the area, in order to know how much paint they needed to buy, Santa stands on Banta 's shoulders and stretches to reach the top to compute the height. His reach is short by several inches. So, Banta says maybe if they switch positions, because he's taller maybe he can touch the top. They switch positions and naturally he can't touch the top, either.
While sitting, pondering another approach to computing the area, a weight lifter comes by. Santa and Banta explain their problem. The weightlifter goes over, wrestles the flagpole out of its socket, lays it down, measures it from bottom to top, gives them the figure, then manhandles the flagpole back into its cement socket and walks off.
Santa looks at Banta, then says, "Now isn't that weightlifter awfully stupid! You ask him the height and he gives you the length of the pole!"
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2 Comments
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| How to have A Roller Coaster Ride on a Bicycle |
| 06.06.09 (12:24 am) [edit] |
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4 Comments
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| Quotes about Women |
| 06.04.09 (11:30 pm) [edit] |
- To My Daughter, With Love. The bitterest creature under heaven is the wife who discovers that her husband’s bravery is only bravado, that his strength is only a uniform, that his power is but a gun in the hands of a fool. Pearl Sydenstricker Buck, American Writer
- Every woman needs a man to discover her. Sir Charles Spencer Chaplin, Jr, American Film Star
- A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands equal rights with men. A woman who is intelligent does not. Sidonie Gabrielle Colette, French Novelist
- There is no fury like a woman searching for new lover. Cyril Vernon Connolly, British Intellectual
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| Bruce Lee - Remember The Legend ? |
| 06.04.09 (8:00 am) [edit] |
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| Copy & Paste |
| 06.03.09 (9:13 pm) [edit] |
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A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. Said he: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause.
A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "...and I can't remember who she was!"
By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water Moral of the story: DON'T COPY IF YOU CAN'T PASTE.............!!!
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| QUICK THINKING! |
| 06.02.09 (9:00 pm) [edit] |
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Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in a hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Banta was visiting him in the hospital.
Banta: "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank Wahe Guru that it was your left hand, since you are right handed."
Santa: "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!"
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| What BMW (abbreviation) Stands For ? |
| 06.01.09 (9:49 pm) [edit] |
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Most of us do not know what this famous iconic trade mark stands for. Here is the definition in German: B = Bayerische M = Motoren W= Werke Full Name of The Company is, "Bayerische Motoren Werke AG". Pronounced as Buy-arishi Moto-ren Verki In English it is also called: Bavarian Motor Works.
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