1)
A man and a woman who had never met before found themselves in the same
sleeping compartment of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both
managed to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leaned over and said, "I'm sorry to
bother you but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly
pass me another blanket."
The man, with a glint in his eye, responded, "I've got a better idea...let's
pretend we're married."
"Why not?" giggled the woman.
"Good," he said. "Get your own blanket."
2)
A man comes home from work, sits in his lazyboy in front of the TV, and
rudely tells his wife, "Gimme a beer before it starts".
She gives him his beer.
About 15 minutes later, he says again, "Gimme a beer before it starts".
She does.
A few minutes later, he asks for another beer.
The wife says, "Don't you think you're drinking too much beer? It hasn't
been half an hour that you got here and you've already had two beers. You
haven't taken out the trash yet, and the light bulb in the kitchen is still
out. And how about the filter in the furnace? The garage is a mess, and when
are you going to shovel snow off the sidewalk? I'm getting fed up with this.

The husband looks up and mumbles, "NOW it starts..."
3)
At a pharmacy, good old buddy Jessi asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby
he held in his arms. The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs
but said that he would figure the infant's weight by weighing the man and
baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the father alone and
subtracting the second amount from the first.
"It won't work," countered Jessi. "I'm not the father, I'm the uncle."

MISTAKE #5:
Sharing “How You Feel”
Too Early In the Relationship with Her
Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most men make with women is sharing how they "feel" too early on.
Attractive women are rare.
And they get a LOT of attention from men.
Most men don't realize this, but attractive women are being approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME by men.
An attractive woman is often approached several times a DAY by men who are interested. This translates into dozens of times per week, and often HUNDREDS of times per month.
And guess what?
Attractive women have usually dated a LOT of men.
That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.
They know what to expect.
And one thing that turns an attractive women off and sends her running away faster than just about anything is a guy who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.
This signals to the woman that you're just like all the other guys who fall for her too fast... and can't control themselves.
Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.
There's a much better way...

1)
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he
got older he was increasingly hampered by terrible
headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life
started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to another,
he finally came across a doctor who solved the
problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require castration. You
have a very rare condition which causes your testicles
to press up against the base of your spine. The
pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way
to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had
anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long
enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to
go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he
felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt
like a different person. He could make a new beginning
and live a new life.
He walked past a men's clothing store and thought,
"That's what I need, a new suit." He entered the shop
and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...
size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe
admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked,
"How about a new shirt?"
Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure!"
The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see,... 34
sleeve and... 16 and a half neck."
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe
adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked,
"How about new shoes?"
Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure!"
The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9
and a half wide."
Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman
asked, "How about a new hat?"
Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure!"
The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see. . .
7 5/8."
Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"
"It's my job."
The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the
salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure!"
The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said,
"Let's see... size 36."
Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18
years old."
The salesman shook his head and said, "You can't wear
a size 34. It would press your testicles up against
the base of your spine and give you one hell of a 
...................

2)
Youngest Son: Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between
potentially" and " in reality" ?
Dad: I will show you ....
Dad turns to his wife and asks her: Would you sleep with Robert
Redford for 1 million dollars?
Wife: Yes of course ! I would never waste such an opportunity!
Then Dad asks his daughter if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1
million dollars?
Daughter: Waow !!! Yes! This is my fantasy!
So Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: Would you sleep with
Tom Cruise for 1 million dollars?
Elder Son: Yeah !! Why not ? Imagine what I could do with 1 million
dollars! I would never hesitate!
So the father turns back to his younger son saying: You see son,
"potentially" we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but "in reality"
we are living with 2 bitches and 1 gay!

In the last post we discussed various tabs and buttons you come accross during blogging. I think thats enough for the tabs and button parts lets start some real work.But before that one important aspect is The Template. Almost al good blogging sites (we are talking of free blogging sites) provide you various templates to choose. Choose your template carefully.Select reasonable color schemes.Choose eyes friendly colors and aesthetically good looking.your blog host sites also allow you unlimited or limited editting facility to the template.Its good to have such facility.Coz this will allow you to place your ads within the templates.remeber to re-publish your blog after you make changes to the template.

Now Lets Come To Blogging/Postings. Please be mindful of the fact that we are here to blog for earning some real money.hence we need to attract as many people as we can.The more visitors you get ,more money you make.is important that you creat such post which instantly attract people.Beuti tips ,hair styling,daily diaries may not attract people as much as Humor ,make money, jokes, great facts, or sex related stuff. You need to read a bit, find out what you are going to post for today.Find out what can cause attraction for other people.A thing or a writing which cathes your eye or attracts you will attract others too.Try something different.Experiment. Enough for today.Think what can attract other people and post it on your blog.

1)
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day
and found him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a
condom onto his dick. In an attempt to hide his full
erection, Johnny's father bent over as if to look
under the bed.
Little Johnny asked curiously, "What ya doin', Dad?"
His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go
underneath the bed."
Johnny replied, "What ya gonna do, fuck him?"
2)
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.
The waiter, who is also the owner,
walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the
menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer.
I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty
dish pile and picks up a greasy fork.
He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to
him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes
in a deep breath.
"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed
potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the
kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife.
He tells her what had just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later, the blind man returns and the
owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.
"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a
dirty fork."
The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the
blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That
smells great. I'll
take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind
man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that
the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner
sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your
panties before I take it to the blind man."
Mary complies and hands her husband the fork.
As the blind man walks in and sits down,
the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I
already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep
whiff, and says,
"Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here..."
3)
One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be
judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and
that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked
what he did and God told him that he cheated on his
income taxes, and that the only way he could get into
heaven would be to sleep with a 500 pound, stupid,
butt-ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it.
Tony decided that this was a small price to pay for an
eternity in heaven. So off he went with this enormous
woman, pretending to be happy.
As he was walking along, he saw his friend Carlos up
ahead. Carlos was with an even bigger, uglier woman
than he was with. When he approached Carlos he asked
him what was going on, and Carlos replied, "I cheated
on my income taxes and scammed the government out of a
lot of money...even more then you did."
They both shook their heads in understanding and
figured that as long as they have to be with these
women, they might as well hang out together to help
pass the time.
Now Tony, Carlos, and their two beastly women were
walking along, minding their own business when Tony
and Carlos could have sworn that they saw their friend
Jon up ahead, only this man was with an absolutely
drop dead gorgeous supermodel / centerfold. Stunned,
Tony and Carlos approached the man and in fact it was
their friend Jon. They asked him how is he with this
unbelievable goddess, while they were stuck with these
god-awful women.
Jon replied, "I have no idea, and I'm definitely not
complaining. This has been absolutely the best time of
my life (and I'm dead,) and I have five years of the
best sex any man could hope for to look forward to.
There is only one thing that I can't seem to
understand.
After everytime we have sex, she rolls over and
murmur's to herself, "Damn income taxes!"

1)
How do u recognize Our old friend Jessi in school ?
He is the one who erases his notebook when the teacher erases the blackboard !!

2)
Touch it gently ..
Put ur finger inside..
If hole is big put three fingers....
Rub it up & down gently...that's the right way washing the glass !!!!!

3)
What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins,
like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
.HEART.

4)
What is the long thing that has a hole at the tip & being inserted into
a deep, slimy, hairy hole and can make u feel better ? .......
VICKS INHALER !

5)
Why did Our friend Jessi take his pregnant wife to " PIZZA HUT "
Because they advertised "FREE DELIVERY "

6)
Boy: " Is it all in ?"
Madam: "Yeah"
Boy: " Are you comfortable ?"
Madam: "Noooo"
Boy: " Does it hurt ?"
Madam: "Yeah !!! a lot "
Boy: " Okay madam try another sandal ! "
Shame on all those who think wickedly.

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40 miles per hour.
The wife is behind the wheel.
Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."
The wife says nothing,
Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 45 mph.
The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,"
He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend,
And she's a far better lover than you are."
Again the wife stays quiet,
But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 55.
He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.
Up to 60.
"I want the car, too," he continues.
65 mph.
"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"
The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge.
This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"
The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
"No, I've got everything I need," she says.
"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"
Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph,
The wife turns to him and smiles.
"The airbag."
Moral of the Story :
Don't mess with WOMEN!!

Now we simply moveover to the tabs generally provided in all blogging site.
First we move on to various settings of your blog
Title: Tilte of your blog should be apealing and attractive.
Description: Whats your blog about? Description should be crisp and say it all type.Short but attractive.
@ You can choose how many post you want to show on your blog at a time.
@ You can enable or disable comments from other viewers. But disabling is not recommended,enable comments so that your blog is interactive and people can say whatever they want to.
@ You can also turn on comments notification on some blog sites so that you are notified via email whenever your blog/post is commented
@ But before that you may like to enable the email settings either to show email to public or allow people to contact you via email as the site may provide an option.If you dont find this option mention your email address in your profile.(if you want to allow people to contact you for your blogging).Getting a separate email address just for your blog is a good idea.
Archiving: is another available tab in the blogs.These are your old post.It can be opted to be done monthly (as your host site may allow).People can go through your archives and see what you wrote previously.Or even you can go through it coz its your own personal diary.
Site Feed: yeah .... Important.... you will need it in future to promote your blog ... remember the tab where you can find it.Or if you are on it simply copy paste save in your favourite folder for later use.
Post/Posting: Here you will find few more tabs like:
Creat New Post : if you want to creat a new one.
Edit post: if you want to edit a previous posted post.
Title: place where you have to give a title to your post.
Compose: Just compose your thoughts in the given space.
Edit HTML : If you know use of Hyper Text Markup Language, please go ahead.
Preview: Provides preview of anything that you have written/created
Save Draft: Lets you save your creation for later publishing or editing.
Publish : Lets your post go online for publishing onto your blog.Now its open for all people to see your new post on the web.
Categories : Choose a general category in which that particular post of your falls. It can be Humor, Relationship,women,money or any given thing in the drop down menu.

I think enough for today. Go on just try these, see whats there and whats not there in your blog site? One more thing which is important. make a Folder named "My Blog" in your computer to save different blog related things in it.Make use of note pad. (not a paper one, one given in start menu).Copy paste and save whatever you think you may require in future. After all we are working on a money making project.Wait till next post for more tabs and settings.Ask questions if you got any.i will reply.

MISTAKE #3:
Looking To HerFor  Approval Or Permission
In our desire to please women (which we mistakenly think will make them like us),
us guys are always doing things to get a woman's "approval" or "permission".
Another HORRIBLE idea.
Women are NEVER attracted to the types of men who kiss up to them... EVER.
Don't get me wrong here.
You don't have to treat women BADLY for them to like you.
But if you think that treating a woman well means "always getting her approval and permission for things", think again.
You will never succeed by looking for approval. Women actually get ANNOYED at men who seek their approval.
Doubt me? Just ask any attractive woman if Wussy guys who chase her around and want her approval annoy her...

1)
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day
and found him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a
condom onto his dick. In an attempt to hide his full
erection, Johnny's father bent over as if to look
under the bed.
Little Johnny asked curiously, "What ya doin', Dad?"
His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go
underneath the bed."
Johnny replied, "What ya gonna do, fuck him?"

2)
A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The
waiter, who is
also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands
him a menu.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the
menu. Just bring me a
dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and
order from
there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty
dish pile and picks
up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table
and hands it to
him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes
in a deep breath.
"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed
potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the
kitchen. The cook
happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had
just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later, the blind man returns and the
owner mistakenly
brings him a menu again.
"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a
dirty fork."
The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the
blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That
smells great. I'll
take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind
man is screwing
around with him and tells his wife that the next time
the blind man
comes in he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner
sees him coming
and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your
panties before I take
it to the blind man."
Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the
blind man walks in
and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I
already have
the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep
whiff, and says,
"Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here..."

1)
ARAB : Whatever u want i give but u marry me!
Girl : u give me house?
ARAB : ok!
GIRL : BMW?
ARAB : i give!
GIRL : Do u have a 12 inch ?
ARAB : (thinking) ok! 4 u i cut it

2)
HUSBAND :
U never tell me how much u enjoy sex...?
WIFE  :
well u r never at home at that time!

3)
Whats the similarity b/w American Flag and First Lady's skirt?
both go down by the order of The President.

4)
A young Girl Goes to Her Teacher with her bf and ask: Can i be a mother teacher?
Teaher Says: you are too young to be a mother.
Girl turns around to bf and says: See, i told you nothings gonna happen.

5)Tutor asked : which part of the body goes to heaven first ?
a kid replys : feet coz every night i see mom her feet up high & screaming oh god i m coming.

6)
What women think of sex:
at age 8-ignore it
at age 18-experience it
at age 28-love it
at age 38-ask for it
at age 48-beg for it
at age 58-pay for it
at age 68-pray for it
at age 78-forget it!

7)
Why do women put red lipstick on their lips?
b'cos its a warning signal that its the wrong hole.

8)
over phone
Boy : I am going to come over to your house right now.
girl:  oh no you're not.
boy :  and I am going to break down your door,
girl:  oh no you're not.
boy :  then I am going to take you in to the bed room,
girl:  oh no you're not.
boy :  I am then going to throw you on to the bed and rip off all your cloths,
girl:  oh no you're not.
Boy : then I am going to take off all my cloths,
girl:  oh no you're not.
boy :  then I am going to jump on you and make hot passionate love to you,
girl:  oh no you're not.
boy :  and I am not even going to wear a condom!
girl:  oh yes you are.

9)
Wife : cat drank the milk while i was asleep.
husband : i have told you many times to wear a shirt while you sleep
 
10)
A NuN goes for a urine test & by mistake the sample got mixed up.
The doctor told the Nun she was pregnant.
She cried out: " we can`t even trust CANDLES now!!!"

11)
Love is a gamble sex is a game,
boys do action, girls Get the pain,
blame one night of pleasure nine months of pain,
one day in hospital ,and junior needs a name!

12)
Ouch! It's too tight.
Don't worry, sweetheart ! we'll try to do it slowly.Push it in.
Aah! I can't. It's painful.
Ok, sweetheart, Let's get another
WEDDING RING !

Before i start step 4, let me tell you one thing,in my second step i mentioned a site named blogspirit, it is surely a good interactive user friendly blogging site, but is only free for one month.So before you really start blogging there be aware that they will be asking for an upgrade or end free trial period.Because our aim is to Make Money from Scratch, therefore i will not recommend spending money on a blog when you can get a free one.May be when you earn money,from here, only then you spend some.For now lets go to Step 4.
In step 3 we had signed up for a blog with a good n attractive name.now before we really start posing to our blog, we must get to know how our blog functions, various settings and tabs and bla bla bla.Most of these are common in all the blog sites.But we must know little bit of internet and blogging terminology.Though you can find them anywhere but let me tell you few so that atleast i am sure that you know enough.

web log / Blog : Its a personal diary.a mini website of your own.where you can put any kind of information or thoughts you want to share.

Publish:  A blog gives you an opportunity to voive your thoughts on the web. When you have collected your thoughts for a particular thing you sart to publish them on your blog space.

Post: your thoughts published in one go are called a post. size of a post may vary from empty to any length.(depends on the site sometimes how much it allows).Mostly the sites allow as much length of a post as you want.

Comment: it is a feedback posted by someone after going through your post.Or a feedback you give after seeing someone else's blog/post.

Blogger's Profile: putting your interests and all lets other know you better and helps people find people of their own interest.

This post is getting bit lengthy and you may not like to see such long post.so see you tomorrow.thanx

1) Woman Top Lies

1- I love u

2- I m virgin

3- I hate sex

4- U r first who is touching me

5- Ok, only once

 2) A cricketer asks his wife on their First Night :

    " Darling did you like my shot between the two Fine Legs? Wife Replies : "It was good shot but you are not the opening batsman"

3)  Q : Whats the difference b/w cricketer and condom?

   ANS : Cricketer drops the catch & condom catches the drop

4) A man was travelling in the bus with lot many kids. A woman came to him and asked:

    "Are these your kids !!! ?"

     He Said : "Actually I deal in condoms and these are the complaints".

5)  A sexy girl goes to her boss and says :

    "Give me 500 $ and take tomorrow"

     Boss says : "Take 200 $ but give today"

6)  Our old friend Jessi's girlfriend says to him :

    "if we get engaged will u give me a ring ?"

     Jessi says : "SURE , whats your phone number?

Before we go over to step 2, i think i better tell you here that no one on the web will give you money with out any real work.Everything takes time and making money takes real hard work and time.do not Fire your boss,you cant be your own boss in a weak or for that matter in a month,you will not be among the rich and famous,you will not own a Ferrari, all claims wich tell you so are fake, So please dont fire your Boss.
Now one thing is important, every site you visit which claims it is free, will be free to join, no doubts, but it may tell you to get Silver , Gold or Platinum Upgrades to get more benifits. Because my aim is to help the bloggers start from the scratch and make money online so we will only be dealing with free memberships and not the upgrades.People are making money from the web for free.Undoubtedly few have made a fortune. we can make our try to make some reasonable money and make the system work for us generating some good income to pay our utility bills may be.Or save for future.
Now when we are through with the step one that means we have a valid e mail address, we have to move on to getting a blog. I will not get in to the definition of a blog coz you may find it on the web. Its simply a mini website of your own. There are several platforms available on the web to get a blog for your ease I will recommend you the best. Which are user friendly, easy to use and allow you much liberty. Here are the ones I use for my self. add a dot com with these names cause i will not be placing links here for certain reasons.

1. blogspirit.
2. blogger.
3. tblog.
4. soulcast.

Remember i have tried many. may be some other also exist and new blog platforms made available, but so far whatever i have experienced these are the best few. For today please just go on, visit them, see for your self experiment but dont sign up because that includes in "make money step 3". Wait for that step.dont rush. a step a day is enough for good learning.
I will again request my dear viewers to spend few seconds and just leave a thanx or whatever comment they like on my blog so that i can see that you are liking it  or not. Any questions and suggestions will help me improve this step by step series for newbies, which at least i never found any where on the web. Thanx

1) Your brain will be refreshed in the next five seconds.....

 5......

 4.......

 3.......

 2.......

 1........

 LOADING.....

 ERROR: no brain detected.

2) WIFE : " I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in ur hands all day."

    HUSBAND : " I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday."

3) Our Friend Jessi is in the library , he bangs down a book and says :" too boring, too many   &nb sp;   characters and no story".

LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who took the phone directory away??

4) God created ME to b ur friend. He picked ME out from all the REST coz he knows I am ....well one of the BEST.

AHEM !! don't argue with God now.